Ever have one of those brief (well brief for me) parenting moments when you think, “I got this whole parenting thing,” just to end up with bath water all over the kitchen floor, a half cooked breakfast and all your confidence vaporized before the clock even hits 8 a.m. That was my morning when I thought I’d save some time and bring Trevor’s little bathtub out to the kitchen so he could wash up while I cooked breakfast. Save time, right? Yeah, not so much, at least at the end of that bad idea the floor got mopped which was not on the to do list but I’m sure needed to happen.
I think one of my biggest challenges with motherhood (I’ve only reached the toddler stage) is how quickly little things can get out of control. Life can often feel like a huge mess (literally). A large portion of my day frequently revolves around wiping up spills and saying, “don’t touch that, throw that, hit that, break that…” There is no turning around for a second or, yup, one more mess to clean up or one more thing gets broken.
I stumbled across an encouraging gem recently. I’ve read it before, but this time on one of those rare mornings when I actually managed to get up before my little guy and have a bit of a quiet time I read through the book of 2nd John and it resonated with my tired soul. I read it, then read it again, then read it one more time (not too hard as it is the second shortest book of the Bible with just 303 words). I can’t remember ever hearing a sermon preached on 2nd John but in its short, simple, loving tone it is a beautiful letter of encouragement written to a mother.
I love that God tucked this treasure into the New Testament knowing that this letter of staying faithful and walking in truth and love was a message that future mothers would also need to hear. We don’t have the original envelope (or scroll) of the letter so there are no proper names used. John refers to himself simply as “The elder” and addresses his recipients as “the lady chosen by God and to her children, whom I love in the truth.” Some scholars say this woman hosted a church in her home, which is very likely. John encourages her to continue to “love one another,” “walk in obedience” and he warns her of deceivers. “Watch out,” he says, “that you do not lose what we have worked for.” It is clear that John saw this special lady as a partner in ministry. He says he has more to say but prefers to talk face to face, “so that our joy maybe complete.”
As a mom in the midst of the constant toddler training days, the sentence that struck me most in this short letter was when John wrote, “it has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth.” Were these her spiritual children or her physical children? I don’t know, but this lady was an influencer and she influenced her children for good. That is what I long for—to influence for good.
Interestingly enough she didn’t have perfect results, John says, “some of your children.” That honesty hit me as well because I long for perfect; I want the best for my child. I want a guarantee that if I do this, he will turn out this way. I often have the unreal expectation that my child needs to be perfect in order for me to be doing a good job, and when that perfection isn’t there (a daily, ok hourly, occurrence) I often feel that I am failing in my role as a mother. I remember when my son was born and he had some baby acne on his face. Immediately I thought, “oh no, already his skin isn’t that perfect newborn baby skin,” and, as his caregiver, I felt that it was somehow my fault even though he was barely a few hours old.
But, perfection is not the goal. Let me just say that again, perfection is not the goal! Not an easy truth to believe in this Photoshop/picture perfect society. Perfection will never happen this side of heaven. There is no formula, no parenting method, and no amount of programs that will guarantee you a perfect child. Instead, we have to walk in the truth like 2nd John says; model grace, love and mercy and leave the rest in God’s hands.